wingolog

i, lucifer

10 December 2008 10:56 PM (lucifer)

"Long ago you broke off your yoke
and tore off your bonds;
you said, 'I will not serve you!'
Indeed, on every high hill
and under every spreading tree
you lay down as a prostitute."

Jeremiah 2:20, NIV

While browsing through a used bookstore on my recent trip to the States, a yellowed pamphlet fell out of one of the books. I bought the book for five bucks, careful not to reveal the existence of the insert, whose contents I reproduce here.

Dear diary,

Finally, my job search has ended at last! I got this sweet new job over at the department of administration. I met my new co-workers last week, Mike and Gabriel ("Gabe to my friends", he says). They're new too, so it seems we're all going to be learning together.

The boss says we have to be presentable at all times, so I guess that means goodbye to my scruffy goatee. Oh well, it's a worthwhile sacrifice -- it really seems like this is the break I've been waiting for all these years and years.

Anyway, things are really busy now -- I'll write soon!

Sincerely,

Luke

* * *

Dear diary,

The job's still going pretty good, though the boss is a pretty hard taskmaster. Every day I'm out at the branch offices telling other workers how to do their job. I feel bad for them, they're totally overworked. Well, I am too. We hardly get any time with the harp!

Anyway, seems I got a bit agitated there. I guess it's to be expected, given that I have to keep it all in during the day. Still, the benefits are pretty sweet, and I have to admit I look pretty great in my work uniform.

Otherwise, all seems OK. I know I've been pretty bad at writing recently, but I'll try to write back soon.

Yours,

Luke

* * *

Dear diary,

I am starting to get pretty fed up with those brown-nosers Mike and Gabriel (no, I'm not his friend). All the time it's like "What can I do for you, Lord?" "Lord, your might is without limit!" "Lord, Lord, Lord, blah, blah, blah." Grrr! Don't those guys have any self-respect?

Plus, the workers that they manage have been raising hell. The strike last week at the border nearly stopped immigration completely. And the crackdown... wow. It was pretty brutal -- "feathers were flying", as they say.

Well, just keeping my head low for the time being. I'll rap at ya later.

Peace,

Luke

* * *

Dear diary,

It seems like my discontent has been making the rounds. Today I got fired for "insubordination".

I guess it all came to a head when I gave that speech at the gate rally, saying I was tired of being Seraph's Deputy. The cheers and flapping from the crowd felt good then, but now I'm out of work, and that also means I'm out of the company housing.

The "Lord" claims to know where I'll go now, but I don't know that myself. I asked Mike if I could stay at his place; we'll see what he says.

Further bulletins as events warrant,

Luke

* * *

Dear diary,

I've settled on an unused piece of land, just down the valley from where I used to live. I can see the hills and clouds from my shack, and I'll have to admit that life was pretty privileged when I lived up there. But I'm finding things about my new environment that are quite nice as well -- the lush greenery, the salamanders in the river, and the simple pleasures of honest work, tossing hay to my goats with a pitchfork.

I don't see much of my old co-workers anymore, and to be honest I don't miss them much. I do have to work sometimes for farms around the valley just for part of their harvests, but I'm pretty happy working for myself.

Anyway, that's that. Time to go tend the fire, it gets cold here at night.

Laters,

Luke

Though I think the diary continues, my pamphlet ends here. I'll let
y'all know if I find more pieces of it.

7 responses

  1. Federico Mena Quintero says:

    So I'm not the only one who has bought a used book just for the inserts (notes from a musical lesson, it seems).

    This is pretty cool; thanks for sharing :)

  2. Rob says:

    So much said in so few paragraphs. Wow.

  3. wingo says:

    I think the author's name was something like Cide Hamete Benengeli, or something.

    Pasó, pues, el hallarla en esta manera: estando yo un día en el Alcaná de Toledo, llegó un muchacho a vender unos cartapacios y papeles viejos a un sedero; y como soy aficionado a leer, aunque sean los papeles rotos de las calles, llevado de esta mi natural inclinación tomé un cartapacio de los que el muchacho vendía...

  4. Natan Yellin says:

    That's very neat. Which book did you find it in?

  5. Pete Trachy says:

    Achh.... Swine! Leave me hanging. Please, can't you add a just a wee polemical side note in the comments section? Something about the evil indoctrinating nature of our educational system and corporate drudgery. Whatever, I'm glad you are spending Christmas in France.

    BTW, my 90 year old grandmother recently passed on to me the buttermilk biscuit recipe (see above link to recipe) that lucifer himself taught her when he was first forced from heaven to make his place in the foothills of the Carolinas. Please, do not thank me. Simply enjoy their delightful flakiness and dream of summer camp. Rolling the dough out and folding it back on itself a couple of times enhances flakiness.

    Finally, please, which book did you find it in? The question was asked 6 days ago. Surely you have had opportunity to answer it?

  6. wingo says:

    Trachy! You are never satisfied!

    I did not want to answer which book I found the thing in, because I made it up. Blogs are only good for a certain kind of fiction, it seems.

    I made up the bit about finding that in a book because what's written in the main text is normally in my voice. Claiming that the diaries came from somewhere else makes them sound more plausible, like Micky C does in the Quijote.

  7. Luke says:

    I want my fucking diary back, little man!

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